Roger Hyttinen

This was the first book I had read by Miller so I didn’t quite know what to expect. This was another recommendation that I stumbled across on a blog that I found interesting so I thought I’d give it a try.

The book is autobiographical. Donald Miller is approached by two movie producers who want to make a movie based upon his best-selling memoir. As the three work together on the screenplay, the script for the movie begins to slant more towards fiction than real-life and it is at this point where Miller decides he’s going to edit his current life into a better story. This reminded me a bit of what I wrote in my recent post about keeping a journal, in which one journal writer wrote that keeping a journal forces him to lead an interesting life – otherwise, he’d have nothing to write about.

In this book, Miller deconstructs his life and begins a quest to live a meaningful story while including all the necessary elements that make a story worth reading – conflict, emotion, negative turns, a positive turns, adventure, memorable scenes and more. He takes all of these story elements and attempts to weave them into his own life. Along the way, he recounts some beautiful, touching and meaningful anecdotes and stories, each with their own life lesson. His rewriting of his life story reminded me of an old adage that goes something to the effect of – “Your life is a script. If you don’t like the way the script is unfolding, then rewrite it!” Every life is a story – but whether it’s a memorable story or a story worth retelling, is up to us.

I found the book inspiring, thought-provoking and entertaining. It pulled me out of my comfort zone, stretched my thinking and caused me to examine my own life to see what kind of “story” I was living.

The book can inspire you to action, inspire you to take chances and could be especially helpful if you find yourself in a rut, going through a challenging time in your life or if you are searching for more meaning in your life. Miller’s conversational style and wit renders the book easy to read and enjoyable – and after finishing it, you may feel encouraged to “live a better story” yourself. Recommended!

I didn’t know what to expect when I first picked up Everyday Zen. I saw it mentioned on an e-mail list quite awhile ago and subsequently added it to my “To Be Read” list. The author, Charlotte Joko Beck, teaches at the Zen Center in San Diego and this introductory book is compilation of her talks aimed at those who are newcomers to Zen (although experienced Zen folks certainly can derive benefit as well).

The author takes familiar Zen concepts and helps us to apply them to our everyday lives. Some topics discussed are: feelings, religion love, anger, relationships, suffering, renunciation, tragedy, aspiration, expectation and more. While most people associate Zen with “sitting”, the author shows us that real action is necessary as well for a rounded practice – and provides practical advice on recommended actions. I found that reading this book opened my eyes and made me think about the manner in which I approach my life – and my relationships with others.

The author communicated her ideas in easy-to-understand plain English and included several excellent stories to make her point, making the book accessible to a wide audience. I admit that I have read some Zen books in the past where every page was a struggle. Not so with Everyday Zen. Her easygoing style helps make the book practical as well as full of wisdom.

A good portion of the book had to do with the ego or as Echart Tolle refers to it “The drama that is me.” Joko Beck leads us down the path of learning to not only keep the ego (she refers to the ego as “pride”) in check, but how to recognize ego interruption when it is occurring. She teaches how to step back and observe. When we are angry, we learn to observe that we are angry (rather than just experiencing the anger). Once we do this, wisdom comes in, allowing us to see the world as it really is, not just the way we want it to be.

One example that she used that really resonated with me was being in an argument. When we are in the midst of arguing with someone, it’s almost impossible for us to look at and label our thoughts because a huge block stands in our way. This block is our need to be “right”. This need to be right is one of the reasons why it’s so hard for us to back away and look at our ego. This is something I myself have worked on and struggled with over the years — these days, I find that being right is not as important to me as it was when I was younger and more “ego-driven”. It certainly makes for a lot less stressful life.

Consistent with Zen teachings, the author stresses over and over the need to be present, to be in the moment. She points out that when we live mainly in our daydreams and hopes, we miss actual life as it is happening. We give our life over to hopes, thoughts and fantasies. We daydream, we hope for something special, something ideal – and when it doesn’t come to pass, we are not only disappointed, but also anxious, even desperate.

What I liked about the book is that she shows how to relate these teachings to our everyday lives in our busy, ego-centric Western world – how to put Zen teaching into practical everyday use.

I found the book to be full of wisdom and helpful advice — and I believe that those not even on a Zen path can derive benefit from it. Recommended!

Just finished reading How to Disappear: Erase Your Digital Footprint, Leave False Trails and Vanish Without a Trace by Frank M. Ahearn. Why this book? The title intrigued me. Now I am not planning on disappearing or going “on the lam” but I thought the book might have some guidance on how to perhaps minimize my digital footprint (not easy to do these day) as well as help to protect my privacy both while online and offline.

The author was a “professional skip tracer” by trade – that is to say, someone whose job it was to find people who didn’t want to be found. His anecdotes and real-world scenarios on his successful finds were entertaining, intriguing and provided some excellent advice on what NOT to do. He has since then, changed careers and now he helps people to disappear. Why would you want to disappear? Perhaps you are being stalked or just want to start over. He covers all of these things and much more.

The chapters of the book include:

• Meet your enemy: the skip tracer
• Time to disappear
• Misinformation
• Tracks and clues in the home
• Disinformation
• Your reformation arsenal
• Reformation
• How not to disappear
• Disappear form identity thieves
• Disappear from social media
• Disappear from a frog
• Disappear from a stalker
• Disappear from the country
• Pseudocide

Overall, I felt the book contained a lot of valuable information. One chapter I especially liked was the one on Disinformation (destroying data about you) – how to start leaving less of a digital footprint by using false information such as a fake e-mail address, misspellings in your address and name, false employment history and more. Now the idea here is not to do this in order to engage in illegal activities, but rather to protect your privacy – to stop the spam email, telemarketing calls, junk mail and make it more difficult for people (stalkers, ex’s, etc.) to find you.

The book also paints a real life picture of what’s really involved with disappearing. Many people imagine spending their days in a tropical island paradise, being served Pina Coladas on a beach all day long by a handsome young men or women. The reality is a complicated web of multiple mail drops, prepaid credit cards, prepaid cellphones, public internet access points, as well as giving up your hobbies or interests and having good amount of cash. I personally felt the the portions of the book that pertained to the Internet and privacy were most beneficial but then again, I’m not about to go into hiding. If you are being stalked by someone or are the victim in an abusive relationship, then these other sections may be of particular interest to you. Many of the techniques Frank recommends could also be a good way to avoid – or at minimize the possibility of – identity theft.

The conversational and easy-to-understand tone of the book makes it pleasurable to read. Even if you are not yourself planning on disappearing, the book has many useful tips on guarding your privacy and reducing your digital footprint. If you are serious about disappearing, then this book in indispensable (I also would recommend J.J. Luna’s book “How to be Invisible” as well). Recommended!

This week’s book was Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. This book has been on my list for quite some time – I believe I read a review of it a couple of years back and it intrigued me. In the book, Frankl describes his life in four different Nazi concentrations camps, including Auschwitz, from 1942 to 1945 and his subsequent theories of logotherapy that resulted from his experiences at the camps.

In the first part of the book, Frankl relates some of his own experiences at the camps. While many of his descriptions of day to day life depicted a horrifying existence, Frankl, a psychiatrist, often approached the narration from a psychological perspective. He demonstrates that even though one’s comrades were dying all around them, one could still find hope and peace amidst all the horror.

At times, his anecdotes were so vivid and so disturbing (but not gruesome), that I had to put the book down for a bit and digest what I had read. However, while there were certainly scenes of unspeakable suffering, there was also hope and inspiration, as Frankl describes how he found the emotional strength to survive the camps. In the book, he looks more at how the prisoners respond to the events rather than looking at the events themselves – how some of them coped and subsequently survived while staring death in the face on a daily basis, while others did not.

The main thrust of the book was how people strive to make meaning of their lives above all else. He also demonstrated by example how those who felt life did not have meaning, simply did not survive the camps. That above all else, one must strive to make meaning out of the suffering, to believe that life does have meaning. He recounted an excellent and moving anecdote of a fellow prisoner who had a dream that they would be freed on a certain date. He awaited the date with anticipation – the hope of being freed kept him going. When the date finally came and went, the man lost all hope. He was dead within a week.

Through his writing, Frank demonstrates the courage and strength that people are capable of when faced with a seemingly hopeless situation. It is when we surrender to nihilism and despair in dire circumstances that we lose. Even though the prisoners were stripped of their very identity and relegated to a status no higher than that cattle, many of them rose above the situation by focusing on the the deeper meaning of their life. Though they had lost everything – their freedom, their spouse, their family, their very identity – they themselves chose how to respond to the horrendous situation and by doing so gave meaning to their suffering. They believed that they existed for something – a spouse, a child, a future dream, or future plans. Frankl states in the book that the one thing that cannot be taken away from us is our attitude, the way we respond:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

In the second part of the book, Frankl discusses his theories of logotherapy. Here, he talks about what he believes drives man to survive, even in the most grim of circumstances. This part of the book moves from the anecdotal to the psychological. The basis of logotherapy is that man’s primary motivating force is a search for meaning and this search for meaning even ranks above our pursuit of happiness. In this way, much of the depression and despair we experience is a result of a lack of meaning in our life. When we find our higher purpose for living, we will be able to overcome insurmountable obstacles and make it through nearly anything. I will say that the second part of the book is more technical than the first but is easily readable even if you do not have a scientific background.

The life lessons on the human condition contained in this small book are too numerous to identify here. This extraordinary book is moving, fascinating, powerful and inspiring – and can cause the reader to ponder the meaning in his or her own life. At the most, this book has the potential to be life-changing. Recommended!