Roger's Reads – Page 52 – Author & Book Reviewer

Review of After the Blue Hour by John Rechy

April 22, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen Leave a Comment

After the Blue Hour by John Rechy is a finalist in the Lambda Literary Awards so I decided to give it a try. Each year, I try and read as many as the finalists as possible.

This book particularly caught my eye as I’ve read some of Rechy’s earlier works City of Night and Numbers in the late 70’s think.

THE STORY

Set in the 1960’s, the story follows a 24-year-old writer named John Rechy who is received a letter from a fan — Paul Wagner – who, after having read some of Rechy’s work, invites him to spend the summer on his private island along with his sensual mistress Sophia and his very strange — if not creepy — 14-year-old son Stanty (who’s real name is Constantine).

A good part of the book revolves exploring the sexual dynamics between John and Paul via conversation. These intellectual discussions often devolve into the retelling of past sexual encounters (mostly consisting of Paul sharing hateful memories about his exes). There are times, however, when it sometimes seems as though the two men are attempting to mask sexual desires.

The conversations take some strange turns especially when Paul attempts to draw John out into discussions of the inherent nature of evil and cruelty and seems to try to get John to admit his own innate cruelty and the pleasure he receives from exercising his power over others.

It doesn’t take us too long to figure out that Paul is not only a master manipulator who wormed his way into money through marriage and divorce. It’s also clear that he loves to indulge in power plays and mind games, especially darker ones, and that he may also be a very dangerous man.

The story is told from Rechy’s point of view and throughout these conversations, we learn of the protagonist’s contempt for both Paul and his potentially mentally unhinged son, which only increases as the days pass on the island. The only positive portrayals are found in descriptions of Sonya’s beauty and as with the others on the island, there is more to Sonya than meets the eye as well.

WHAT I LIKED

This book really tickled my bibliophile bone as books play a large part in the story. John spends the majority of his time Paul’s vast library browsing through books by classical authors, and much of the discussion the two men have on the deck revolves around literature.

There was also the mystery surrounding a book entitled “The Origins of Evil” which was deliberately left out in the library for John to find, but then subsequently disappeared, only to reappear again later on in John’s room.

I also liked the device the author uses of blurring the lines between fiction and nonfiction, by using his own name — John Rechy — as the main character and including his own biographical data.

In fact, Rechy refers to the book as “A True Fiction” and I believed at one point in the book he referred to his writing as autobiographical fiction. Whether it means that the story is fiction with a few autobiographical elements thrown in, or whether the novel is autobiography but some overly exaggerated truths is up to the reader to determine.

If I recall, Rechy also says something to the fact that: all fiction is autobiographical, and all autobiographies are fiction.

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE

Though Stanty was a bit strange, the reader also got the feeling of possible neglect and abuse as the hands of his distant, manipulating father, which may explain some of the boy’s strange behavior.

I disliked the extreme misogynistic views of Paul, and his excessively vulgar misogynistic rants became tiresome and offensive after awhile.

The first time he let loose with one of his rants it succeeded in providing shock value and adding a grittiness to the story. But these repeated tirades lost their effectiveness and provoked disgust at the continued usage of his hate speech.

Because of the bitter feelings of the Island’s owner toward woman (including his mistress) and our protagonist’s ever-growing dislike for his hosts, I found the atmosphere of the novel growing more and more toxic as I progressed through it.

There was a feeling of seediness to it that kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

Truth be told, I didn’t like any of the characters, including the protagonist John Rechy, so it’s difficult to have positive feelings about a novel when I felt that none of the characters where deserving of those feelings. They were not only damaged and messy, but I found them wholly unlikeable and completely unrelatable. Especially Paul — I him to be a vile human being.

I was only about 50 pages from the end of it and I thought about throwing in the towel and bailing on it. But I figured I was so close to the end and had stuck it out this far, I needed to finish it. Plus I was hoping that this “huge climax” which was promised at the end of the book would be worth it. It wasn’t. The big event was more cruel and degrading, rather than climatic and explosive, in my humble opinion.

FINAL VERDICT

There is no doubt that Rechy is a master at turning a phrase and this novel was no exception. It was beautiful written and evocative in places — and excessively vulgar and graphic in others.

That being said, it did contain elements of suspense, intrigue, love, desire mystery, and human relationships but most of this was presented through the guise of conversation between the sundeck and the bar.

In other words, not a whole heck of a lot happens in the book. The characters were interesting, especially once their backgrounds were revealed and so was the setting, but I don’t feel that there was a lot here that will stick with me now that I’ve closed the last page.

Additionally, the novel does take the reader into some pretty dark, gritty and uncomfortable places, which may be difficult for some people. And because of the continued hate speech and near pornographic actions of the characters, I found the novel difficult to read as I related less and less to the characters and to the story.

So I would have to say that this book was not for me and I ended up giving it 2 stars.

You can check out After the Blue Hour here on Amazon or the Book Depository.

Review of Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

April 21, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen Leave a Comment

I feel like it’s kind audacious of me to attempt to review a classic like The Catcher in the Rye. But I decided to give it a go nonetheless.

This was a book a remember starting to read in school but for some reason never finished it. I figured that it probably was a boring, overly wordy classic like many of the others that come to mind. But boy, was I wrong!

The Story

The story follows and is narrated by 17-year-old Holden Caufield how has just been expelled a few days before Christmas break from yet another boarding school, this time, Pency Prep for poor grades.

Given that his parents won’t receive the letter for several days yet, Holden decides to lay low for a few days before heading home to face their wrath. Now Holden is kind of a misanthrope – at times he seems to be disgusted by humanity while at other times, he’s fascinated by it.

Holden shares with us his encounters with teachers and fellow students of Pency, and in so doing, he definitely doesn’t hide his dislike of people who are fakes and pretenders, or, as he would say, phonies, which in a way makes him seem older and more mature than his age.

So after an altercation with his roommate, Holden packs up and leaves the school in the middle of the night, and with money in his pocket, takes a train to New York and checks into a somewhat sleazy hotel. Holden then tells us what he did during his last day at Pency and the few days following his departure.

Through his first-person narrative, we learn about his oldest brother D.B. who’s living in California, his younger brother Allie who died when Holden was thirteen, and his little sister Phoebe. It’s funny that he hardly even mentions his parents — but perhaps in not mentioning them, he is actually saying something very important about his relationship with them.

What I Liked

This is the perfect example of voice in writing — it felt like I was hearing these words right from the mouth of Holden and I have to say that reading this book brought out my inner fifteen-year-old. There were certain parts of the book where I caught myself laughing out loud hysterically at his running commentary, his exaggerations and hyperbole, and his unique insights about the world, all peppered by his use of colorful language.

I just thought his descriptions and comments were so rich but they were also quite interesting and captivating.

I know there are plenty of people who hate his character and personally, I don’t get it. Maybe it’s just that I found his juvenile humor and his candor refreshing — and really, really funny. I love Holden Caulfield’s personality and how straight to the point he is, often shockingly so. Yes, he’s blunt, pessimistic and a tad crass but some of what he says is actually quite wise.

Now I will say that if you’re offended by the word “goddam” (his spelling, not mine) then this book definitely is not for you because, probably second only to “bastard”, this was one of Holden’s favorite words.

It also tickled me to no end how he was always putting on his crazy red hunting hat and asking everyone where the all ducks went when the lake froze in the winter. I thought his red hat was a wonderful reflection of his offbeat and unique personality.

Though some people might find Holden to be spoiled and more than a bit affected, I think more than anything else he’s misunderstood, especially by the authority figures in his life. It’s clear that he’s not only disappointed by the world around him, but he may be possibly depressed as he begins to see what the world is really like. Trying to understand Holden Caulfield is no easy task.

He has recently lost a brother and appears to be disillusioned — if not let down by the people who are supposed to be role models. He’s desperately trying to find his way in the world and is often confused by his own ever-changing feelings, sometimes hating his friends one second and then loving them a few moments later. In fact, he once asked himself “What am I, a madman?”

Given that he’s at that awkward stage between childhood and adulthood, he’s also ambivalent about his sexual feelings, perhaps fearing that partaking of that act would thrust him into an adulthood that he’s not ready for.

Feeling more and more alienated and lonely, he calls up old friends in an attempt to find someone who makes him feel, as he describes it, “not so depressed”. Ultimately, however, every one he contacts let him down in one way or another.

Now he’s a spoiler, so if you haven’t read the book, you may wish to stop here or scroll down to the “Final Verdict” section.

Okay, you’ve been warned.

At some point — I can’t pinpoint exactly when — the tone of the book turns from lighthearted and humorous, to more and more serious as Holden’s emotional state begins to unravel. At some point, I felt like I was reading the story of a boy who was in the process of going through a nervous breakdown.

And I think I was right. At the end of the book, Holden mentions how he got sick after he went home, and how “this one psychoanalyst guy keeps asking me if I’m going to apply myself in September.” He also says, “I could probably tell you…what school I’m supposed to go to next fall after I get out of here” which certainly indicates that he was institutionalized at the end of the story, but whether he’s referring to a mental institution or a hospital we can only guess.

I personally suspect that his grief over his brother’s passing and the reaction of his family surrounding that event may have had a serious impact on him. Of course, that’s just my speculation.

What I Didn’t Like

To be truthful, I can’t think of a single thing I didn’t like. Oh sure, I could get on my high horse and say that I found the cursing utterly offensive. But that would be a big ass lie. On the contrary, I found it to be a brilliant part of Holden’s character and its usage added to the story, rather than taking away from it. But again, if cursing offends you, then this may not be the book for you.

The only thing I disliked was that the novel was too short — I wanted more.

Final Verdict

I think that one of the reasons this book may be a classic is that it’s timeless. Though it was written in 1951, it feels fresh, as though it could have been written yesterday and in it, I feel Salinger expertly captures the mind and essence of a teenage boy, whether it be one in 1951 or 2018. The prose was beautiful and left me wanting more.

In summary, I loved, loved, loved this book and in my opinion, it’s a masterpiece. I don’t know why it took me so long to read it.

Holden was so real to me in all of his crassness, his jumbled meanderings, his random musings, his digressions, his improper grammar, his obsessive need to lie about everything (especially his name) and his general confusion about life.

I was so sad to see this book end and in leaving Holden, felt as though I were saying goodbye to a dear friend. Yes, I will definitely be rereading this one, probably several more times. This was truly a fun book to read, and I gave it 5 stars.

You can check out The Catcher in The Rye here at Amazon or at The Book Depository.

This was transcribed from a video review on my YouTube channel “Roger’s Reads”.

Review of The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage by Philip Pullman

April 16, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen Leave a Comment

This is the first book in a new trilogy by Philip Pullman. It’s actually the prequel to the His Dark Materials series, which included The Golden Compass, The Subtle Knife, and The Amber Spyglass. I read them many years ago and to be truthful, I remember almost nothing about them. I do remember that I enjoyed them, however. From what I gather, the main character in the His Dark Materials series is Lyra. Again, I don’t remember. Well, in The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage, Lyra is just a babe.

Story

The story follows 11-year-old Malcolm Polstead who helps out at The Trout, the inn that is owned by his parents. Malcolm and his daemon Astra tend to hear all of the local gossip, including scandals and intrigue, including news about the oppressive religious authority which has, as of late, become more powerful and perhaps more deadly. A creepy Hitler-Youth-like organization called the League of St. Alexander that enlists children to spy on their parents and teachers begins to take hold in the school, and as it becomes stronger, teachers begin to disappear along with some students’ parents.

So one day, Malcolm comes across a strange message in an acorn and eventually discovers the person for whom the message was intended. This person, who we can think of as kind of a spy, asks Malcolm to keep his eyes and ears open and report anything of interest to her – in other words, she enlists him as a spy.

Malcolm also spends a good amount of his time running errands for the nuns directly across the river. It’s at the Priory that Malcolm encounters the baby Lyra, who had been given to the nuns for safekeeping. There is an entire scandal that goes along with Lyra’s birth. Anyway, Malcolm is immediately taken by Lyra and become increasingly attached to the infant as the days progress.

But as he soon learns, there are dark forces afoot and they seem to be centered on the baby Lyra. One of these include the CCD – a branch of the Magisterium which is an oppressive religious sect vying to be the dominant religion which doesn’t seem to have any problems with making people disappear; and the other including villainous scientists who have their own agenda in regards to Lyra, which we are not yet privy to. I found it interesting that we had both villains and heroes on both the religious side and the secular side so, in this way, neither of them was singled out.

What follows then is a harrowing and gripping adventure as Malcolm and Alice (a scullery maid) along with their daemons try to stay one step ahead of their enemies to keep the infant safe (especially from the malevolent scientist Gerard Bonneville and his hyena daemon). Without giving too much away, let me just say that a good part of the novel took place in Malcolm’s trusty canoe, which he had named “La Belle Sauvage”, hence the title of this volume. So in this way, the book is part spy novel, part adventure novel, part coming-of-age story which revolves around two children and one infant, all of which are in true peril.

What I Liked

Now Daemons are one of the coolest part of Philip Pullman’s novels. If you’re unfamiliar with Pullman’s daemons, they are a kind of a supernatural creature — like part of your soul — that appear as talking animals and accompany you where you go. In fact, if you wander away too far from your daemon, it results in severe physical pain. I’m not sure if it would kill you if you move away too much, but I think so. In this world, everyone has a daemon but children’s daemons can shape-shift into other animals.

For instance, Malcolm’s daemon Astra switches into a cat, a bird, a month, an owl, just to name a few. I kind of thought of the daemons as an extension of a person’s soul. It’s also interesting to note that if a person is asleep or unconscious, so is their daemon. Once people become an adult, however, the daemon settle down into a permanent shape, which is a reflection of the individual’s personality, much like our personality settles down once we reach adulthood. The primary characters of Alice, Malcolm and Lyra are young enough that their daemons often change form, which made the story extra interesting.

I thought Bonneville was the ultimate terrifying villain. He was absolutely chilling — the kind of evil mastermind that gives little kids nightmares, especially as he, along with his equally frightening daemon, relentlessly pursued Malcolm, Alice and Lyra over the course of several days. I thought he was perfect for this story.

I also felt that Malcolm was a marvelous protagonist: brave, protective, loyal, resourceful, and wise beyond his years. Though only a child himself, I was especially impressed with his overpowering need to put Lyra above everything else and do whatever was necessary to ensure his safety.

It’s funny, after one especially harrowing part of the book, I recall Malcolm saying something to the effect of, “I’m way too young to be going through all this.” I had to agree. But he was definitely up to the task, and he was always ready to fiercely protect the baby. This eleven-year-old boy ended up being a larger than life characters in this book.

I also really liked the theme of conflict between the oppressive religious authoritarianism and the basic right of human freedom, a recurrent theme, if I’m not mistaken, in other Pullman novels. I thought this conflict was well presented in the book and liked the fact that Pullman presented both the good and the evil sides of it.

What I Didn’t Like

The first part of the novel consisted of heavy world building and backstory, so it did seem kind of slow at the get-go. But once the setting was laid out, then things really take off as we move from one nail-biting experience to another.

Another thing I didn’t care for was the abrupt ending. I’m not a fan of cliffhangers, and this book did kind of end on one. Not terribly so, but enough that I found it annoying. For instance, we really don’t find out the reason that everyone is after Lyra. All we know is that it has something to do with this illusive Dust. The ending scene felt more like a momentary reprieve rather than the conclusion of a book, which didn’t feel all that satisfying to me.

Final Verdict

This is a remarkable addition to the His Dark Materials series, and I’m looking forward to seeing where this series is going to go. La Belle Sauvage was one of those books that had my heart racing on more than one occasion and that I just couldn’t put down. Pullman’s storytelling ability is unsurpassed, in my opinion, and I found this a thrilling ride.

I loved the strong world-building and character development, and felt that this story really came to life for me with the vibrant characters, the exciting adventures and the beautiful narrative. Well written with strong characters and a marvelous sense of place, La Belle Sauvage is a captivating story of good and evil that will linger long after the last word is read.

This book had it all: spies, devastating floods of biblical proportions, life-and-death boat races, gentle nuns, intolerant and inquisition-like religious organizations, brave heroes and heroines fighting for freedom and liberty, brave heroes and heroines fighting for their lives, creepy mausoleums, nefarious villains, mad scientists and even supernatural creatures such as witches and faeries.

I ended up loving this book, in spite of the rather abrupt ending and will definitely be reading the next installment in the series. I just hope we don’t have to wait too long. I ended up giving this book 4 stars.

You can check out the book here at Amazon or at The Book Depository.

Review of The Wicker King by Kayla Ancrum

April 14, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen Leave a Comment

The Story

The Wicker King follows two boys, August and Jack who have been friends since they were little and are like brothers. They also both come from neglectful, dysfunctional family. August has to sell drugs for money because his sole caretaker, his mother, has pretty much given up on life and August needs the money he earns to take care of her. And Jacks parents, who travel extensively for work, leave him alone for weeks at a time.

When younger, they often created games where Jack played the role of the benevolent king with August being the faithful knight or champion.

So as the novel progresses, we learn that Jack begins experiencing hallucinations from an alternate reality – similar to the games they used to play – that is blending in with everyday life. August knows that Jack needs some sort of help but feeling that he owes a life debt to Jack, decides instead to stick by Jack’s side, keep the hallucinations a secret, and accept the visions as reality.

Jack is confident that once he fulfills a sort of a quest, the hallucinations he’s experiencing will disappear for good. So August plays along, even putting his life in danger as Jack draws him more and more into his fantasy world, straddling the world between reality and madness. August willingly follows Jack, though he himself sees no otherworldly elements himself. As the novel progresses, Jack and August alienate themselves from everyone around them: parents, friends, and teachers as Jack’s visions become the primary focus of their existence.

Now as a reader, we can’t help but wonder whether Jack is actually, in fact, experiencing an alternate reality of some kind, as his instance that what he’s seeing is real become increasingly convincing. So as I read along, I began to wonder whether this book is going to turn into a YA fantasy novel. I liked the fact that I knew nothing going into this book, so it was a fun journey as I didn’t know where this novel was going to take me.

Now I don’t want to get too spoilery here, but I will say that things get a whole hell of a lot worse for our heroes before they get better, and this book does deal with a lot of intense, hard-hitting subjects such as child neglect, toxic codependent relationships, and mental illness.

What I Liked

I’m glad that I got the physical copy of this book as it’s cool how the pages are initially white but has Jack descends further and further into is fantasy – or perhaps madness — the splotches of black intrude more and more on the page until finally, the pages are completely back with white print which I thought was a brilliant device and an excellent metaphor for the direction in which the novel was heading.

Additionally, there are numerous drawings, doodles, photocopies of arrest records, copies of detention slips, newspaper clippings, school suspension forms, medical records and still frame photographs which really add to the story.

I’m not sure how all this would translate to an ebook, as that format doesn’t always work with a lot of different multimedia and images in a book.

There aren’t any full-on chapters; instead, we get a page or a page and a half of snippets for which we piece together with the story. Now I don’t mean to say that the format is confusing. It’s not. In fact, not only do the snippets and multimedia do a great job of portraying the events in Jack and August’s lives, but they also succeed in setting the tone of the novel, and I really enjoyed this type of storytelling. Taking together the short vignettes along with the multimedia, we can easily figure out what’s going it as the story unfolds. If I’m not mistaken, I think this format is called “Micro Fiction.”

Oh, it’s worth mentioning that the entire story is told from August’s point of view because no doubt of the two, he’s a more reliable narrator. However, the extra multimedia snippets gave the reader a separate point of view for the various events we read about, which helped to fill in the gaps.

Another thing that I liked about this story was that it wasn’t just the difficult subjects, the complicated relationships, and the intricately woven narrative that made this book great – it’s the characters. Jack and August are vivid and wonderfully rendered — and these people really came to life for me – in all their complexity, cluelessness, willful blindness, and, ultimately, human realism. Oh, so many terrible decisions were made — but that’s what rendered them all the more human and all the more real.

What I also liked about this novel is the lack of a clad-tight, simple, happy ending. With the way these two characters were developed, it would have not only been unreal for them to skip off into the sunset, it would have been a disservice to all Jack and August had been through, dealt with, and accomplished. That being said, the story did end with a satisfying conclusion that felt perfect to me.

What I Didn’t Like

There’s not too much I didn’t like about this book except for the fact that it will hurt your heart in places — but that’s the purpose of this book, I think. I don’t think it was intended to evoke positive emotions of unbridled joy, so the dark subject matter may not be for everyone. There are plenty of triggers in this book so sensitive readers be warned. This is the kind of book that will break you in places.

Initially, the short snippets and the sometimes non-linear storytelling felt a bit disjointed to me, and it took a bit of getting used to. But once I got the hang of it, it was fine and had no problems immersing myself in the story.

Also, though the character of Jack and August were extremely and meticulously well-developed, we are only given bits and pieces about the other characters in the book. I wouldn’t have minded knowing a bit more about the Roger and Peter, the twins who repeatedly offered their assistance (though it was never accepted), Gordie and Rina.

Final Verdict

Though this was an eerie and haunting read that was at times disturbing and cringe-worthy, it is also poignant and beautiful, and is very much also about friendship and unconditional love. It was one of those addicting reads that I just couldn’t put down. It was dark, weird, looming, heart-wrenching and utterly bewitching — I loved every single moment of it. I’m so happy that I came across The Wicker King and I ended up giving it book 5 stars.

By the way, there’s an accompanying novella to this story entitled “The Legend of the Golden Raven: A Novella of the Wicker King” which I just picked up but haven’t had the opportunity to read yet. I’m looking forward to it. Just to let you know.

You can buy the book here at Amazon or at The Book Depository

This review was transcribed from the video review on my YouTube channel “Roger’s Reads”

Review of Cloaked in Shadow by Ben Alderson

April 12, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen Leave a Comment

This book, Cloaked in Shadow, is by a fellow book tuber, Ben Alderson and this is his debut novel. I’ve watched Ben’s BookTube videos for quite awhile now and was excited when I learned he was publishing a novel.

The story follows Zacriah Trovirn, a young elven man who is taken to the Elven capital of Thessolina, where he is forced into King Dalior’s new army of shapeshifters. But Zacriah isn’t a shapeshifter. In truth, he doesn’t know what he is. But he does have magic — he knows that — but it’s the kind of magic no other elf has and Zac is well aware that it’s something he should keep from everyone. So he does.

Fearing that the king and others will discover Zac’s strange magic, he attempts to escape and meets the King’s handsome son, Prince Hadrian. Hadrian later agrees to take Zac under his wing and train him for an upcoming duel.

We soon discover that War is brewing between the elven nations with the peace between the kingdoms is crumbling apart. There is also something dark going on within the kingdom — and we learn that not everyone is who we think there are.

The book is a fast-paced — part fantasy, part adventure story and part LGBT romance with plenty of suspense, intrigue, and twists and turns. I felt that the characters were well-fleshed out and the beautifully written and vivid descriptions and stunning imagery were especially evocative.

I’ve read LBGT fantasy romances before: vampires, werewolves, ghosts and even ghouls – but I think this is the first gay elf book I’ve read. The romance was sweet and didn’t dominate the story, once the characters started getting involved. I was happy that it wasn’t Insta-Love but was a rather slow burn.
This book had it all: elves, shifters, elemental magic, healers, empaths, magic, battles, evil schemes, and even a handsome prince.

Now I will warn you that the book takes off to a slow start — the first two chapters were a tad on the boring side, as they mainly consisted of Zac sitting the wagon on the way to Thessolina observing his fellow passengers and the countryside. But once you get past that, the book really takes off and the actin is non-stop.
My only huge niggle with the book was that the last scene ended rather abruptly and with a cliff-hanger and for those of you who’ve watched my videos, know that I hate cliffhangers.

There were also a couple of instances where the characters used modern language which kind of yanked me out of the story. One of characters said something was “fucked up’ and in another chapter said something was “bullshit” which was not only out of character, but seemed out of place to me in this setting.

But regardless, this was a compelling story with a unique plot, snappy dialog, fun creatures and an interesting cast of diverse characters that kept me turning the page. I felt that the author did an excellent job with the world building and I felt Zac was a complex and multi-faceted character. I enjoyed Ben’s writing style and look forward to reading more by him.

You can check out Cloaked in Shadow here at Amazon.

Review of We Now Return To Regular Life by Martin Wilson

April 9, 2018 by Roger Hyttinen 1 Comment

“We Now Return to Regular Life” by Martin Wilson is another book that made the Lambda Literary Award’s list of finalists in the Young Adult category and that has been on my wishlist, which I finally got around to reading.

The blurb is as follows:

Sam Walsh had been missing for three years. His older sister, Beth, thought he was dead. His childhood friend Josh thought it was all his fault. They were the last two people to see him alive.

Until now. Because Sam has been found, and he’s coming home. Beth desperately wants to understand what happened to her brother, but her family refuses to talk about it—even though Sam is clearly still affected by the abuse he faced at the hands of his captor.

And as Sam starts to confide in Josh about his past, Josh can’t admit the truths he’s hidden deep within himself: that he’s gay, and developing feelings for Sam. And, even bigger: that he never told the police everything he saw the day Sam disappeared.

?As Beth and Josh struggle with their own issues, their friends and neighbors slowly turn on Sam, until one night when everything explodes. Beth can’t live in silence. Josh can’t live with his secrets. And Sam can’t continue on until the whole truth of what happened to him is out in the open.

For fans of thought-provoking stories like The Face on the Milk Carton, this is a book about learning to be an ally—even when the community around you doesn’t want you to be.

The Story

The book “We Now Return to Regular Life” revolved around one evil act: the abduction of 11-year-old Sam Walsh. So when the story begins, Sam has been missing for three years and assumed by most people to be dead. His childhood friend Josh, with whom Sam had earlier been bicycling that day, was the last person to see him. His older sister Beth, who assumed Sam was dead, is dealing with some heavy, heaving guilt from the day of his disappearance.

But now Sam has been found and he’s come home. Beth wants to know what happened to Sam but her family refuses to allow anyone to discuss the topic. All we know is that he was kidnapped and held captive for three years by a man named Russell, who did unspeakable things to the boy.

Unable to speak with his family, Sam rekindles his friendship with Josh and begins to confide in him about what he went through during his captivity. But Sam’s sister isn’t the only one who’s feeling guilty. Josh is holding onto a horrible secret about that day — a secret with which he should have gone to the police but didn’t and because of that, he’s been plagued with pain, confusion and haunting “what-ifs”. But since their reunion and as Josh and Sam grow closer, Josh finds himself falling in love with his childhood friend.

Of course, as a reader, we want to know where Sam was, what happened to him, and who he was with. The rest of the book alternates between Josh and Beth’s point of view as the story slowly unfolds. Through their eyes, we not only see their struggles but also experience the difficulty and the challenges Sam is facing trying to once again fit into everyday life.

What follows is a heart-wrenching depiction of what it means for the victim and the victim’s family to survive trauma and it’s not an easy journey.

Pros – What I Liked

I liked how each person’s point of view encompassed not only the present and how everyone involved is dealing with Sam’s return but also consisted of flashbacks to the day of Sam’s kidnapping and the subsequent days that followed. But not only are we privy to their emotions and perspectives on the kidnapping, we also get a glimpse of Sam’s recovery, through the points of view of Beth and Josh. In this way, I enjoyed experiencing the story all these different angles. Beth and Josh really made me feel like a part of their world as they struggled themselves with Sam’s reemergence and attempted to process their feelings and work through their emotional turmoil in the process.

I also felt that the dynamics between Sam, his sister Beth, their mother, and their stepfather Earl seem very realistic, and I could relate to each of them. There is a range of emotions experienced by each of them: guilt, anger, confusion, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear, rendering the story heartbreaking in places. So in essence, this isn’t just Sam’s story, but it’s also the story of those who are closest to him.

An even though we never experienced the story from Sam’s point of view, his desperate need to talk about what happened as evident and in opposition to those closest to him who couldn’t bear to hear it — and instead of supporting Sam, move away from him. Though Sam is hurting deeply, he isn’t willing to burden anyone with his pain, which I found heartbreaking. We really get a feeling for his struggle to find some sort of normalcy in his life after three harrowing years of abuse by his kidnapper, as he tries to get his life back.

I also really enjoyed the slow unraveling of the story. Each time we moved from one character’s perspective to the other, we learned a little bit more, like puzzle pieces slowly being snapped into place. I felt that the male/female, big sister/friend perspective also provided a nice balance to the story.

Cons – What I Didn’t Like

Though Sam was the main character and revolved around him, I didn’t get to learn or understand as much as I would have liked. I would have liked to have learned a bit more about how Sam was feeling and perhaps even know in more detail what he went through. In fact, I felt that each character has much more story to tell and some things are left unspoken.  I also found that the abrupt change in the point of view could be jarring at times — especially when the character was just beginning to open up and then we suddenly switch to the perspective of the next character — and to a different point in the story. I also found some bits of Beth’s narrative a tad boring, especially in regards to high school dynamics.

There was also a minor non-graphic sex scene that was a bit disturbing and mind you, I’m no prude. I felt that this story may have been better with this scene being left out.

Final Verdict

This is a powerful story packed with emotion and I really loved this book. I read a lot, and this year alone, I’ve have read some phenomenal books and without a doubt, We Now Return to Regular Life is one of those. It was a fast-moving, page-turning read and I felt the pacing of the story to be spot on.  But this is a dark and heavy story in places, the nature of which can make it disturbing for the more sensitive reader. It’s always difficult reading about the abuse of children whether it be fiction or nonfiction and this book is no exception. Thus, sensitive readers should be forewarned about child abuse, sexual abuse, and kidnapping triggers. However, I felt that the subject matter has handled in the most delicate way possible and the author didn’t give us any horrifyingly graphic scenes. That being said, though the book does handle Sam’s situation with sensitivity, it also does it with a sense of realism.  Still, this isn’t an easy topic to read about and was definitely an intense, gut-wrenching story and in my opinion, will be unforgettable.

Mr. Wilson has written a very realistic, fast-paced and beautiful story about survival, family, friendship, and love that will touch anyone’s heart. This sucker punch of a book was most certainly an experience and well worth the read, in my opinion. I can understand why it’s a finalist for Lambda Literary awards. This is the kind of book that will seep into your soul.

There’s so much more I could say about this book. I could probably talk about it forever, but I’ll stop now before I get spoilery. All I can say is that I heartily recommend it and give it 4.5 stars.

You can check out the book here at Amazon or at The Book Depository

This review was transcribed from a video review on my “Roger’s Reads” YouTube channel